8 weeks

Hello Everyone

Gosh, I’ve been super busy lately and honestly, it’s starting to overwhelm me a bit.  Saturday I finally had a day off. It made me wish that I could have every Saturday off, just one little day off in the week. But being that my 3 day internship is unpaid, I really can’t afford to take any days off on a weekly basis :/ In any case, Mike and I had a wonderful time. After doing Insanity in the morning, we ate brunch in Brooklyn and then went to the Harry Potter Exhibit at the Discovery Center in Times Square. We spent a good amount of time in Central Park and then walked to 92nd and 2nd to a wine bar that we had a wine tasting and dinner Groupon for. Brunch and dinner on Saturday weren’t the healthiest meals, but they also weren’t SUPER unhealthy, and I felt like we didn’t over eat. We also worked out in the morning and walked pretty much all day, so I didn’t feel too bad about it. What I did feel bad about was my late night snacking over the weekend. Night time tends to be difficult for me when it comes to over indulging in snacks. I definitely could have been worse. At least the things I was snacking on were all relatively healthy and there weren’t any full blown binging episodes. But I also could have been better. I spent most of yesterday beating myself up about not eating well enough over the weekend, but you know what, I’m only human. And upon further reflection, overall, I’ve been doing a really good job. I need to focus on the positive things I’m doing rather than picking on myself for not being perfect all the time.

I wanted to share this AMAZING recipe I found on Detoxinista’s Blog for Almond Butter Fudge. Mike and I did a Trader Joe’s run early last week and I made sure to purchase almond butter and coconut oil specifically for this recipe 🙂 I seriously could not believe that the only ingredients were almond butter, coconut oil and raw honey or stevia (I used a little it of each). A delicious snack that melts in you mouth.

Today is the 8 week mark since I gradually started to eat better and exercise (and I’m finishing up week 3 of Insanity). I’m at the point in my weight loss (about 13lbs) where I’m starting to see some results, but I still feel like I have a long way to go (23lbs to my initial goal weight). It’s strange to imagine what my body will look like 3 months from now. Over the past 6-8 years, my weight has fluctuated due to my eating disorder from about 150-180. Right now, I’m still within that range. I’m familiar with certain changes that occur to my body within the 150-180 weight range, but anything below 150, I can’t really recall.  I wore a shirt yesterday that I haven’t worn in a while. I remember trying to put it on over the summer and then taking it off right away because the sleeves were cutting off circulation to my arms and it just didn’t really fit well anywhere. The fit was actually pretty loose on me when I put it on yesterday. A little hard to comprehend. Even though I’m still in the 160s, I feel like the amount of inches I’ve lost so far is more significant than when I’ve previously been this weight. I made 140 my initial goal weight because I felt it was challenging and because I hope to feel and look in shape at that weight. I haven’t been in the 140s since I was about 15-16. I’m 5’5 with a large frame. My hands are bigger than my boyfriend’s. I’m not a petite person and I never will be. I just want my body to be the best it can be within it’s own limits. Right now, 140 seems a long way away. But I’m determined to get there and I hope that when I do, I’m happy with the results. I’m worried my mind may go back to it’s old ways and that no matter what weight I get to, it won’t ever be good enough. But I guess I’ll jump that hurdle when I get to it.

Not sure how much time I’ll have to update this week, so have a wonderful week everyone!

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