Hello Everyone 🙂
I hope you all had a lovely weekend. Just finished one of my favorite breakfasts: peanut butter and banana on whole wheat toast. Today is day 5 of Insanity! I should be embarking on crazy amounts of cardio in about an hour. Yesterday was cardio recovery, which I welcomed. Still made me sweat. It consisted of a lot of yoga poses and holding positions such as staying in a squat which made me curse at the screen. I’m sure I’m not the only person to yell out obscene words to Shaun T haha. But I’m feeling really great about it! I can’t wait to see the progress I make when the workouts become easier to go through.
I’m pretty proud of myself for making this commitment and sticking to it. In the past, I’ve fluctuated in my weight and in my dedication to being healthy, especially when I was active in my eating disorder. I feel like in the last few weeks I’ve been very patient and understanding of myself and this journey I’m on which is making all of the difference in the world. It’s so easy to get frustrated, especially at the start of things because your body isn’t yet looking the way you want it to and it isn’t yet able to do all of the physical activities you want it to. I remember times when I would be at the gym and would catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror or be unable to finish a set and I would head to a bathroom stall and cry my eyes out. But accepting that this is who I am and where I’m starting and not hating myself for it makes the journey a much more pleasant one.
I never would have thought that I would get to a place in life where I loved working out, cooking healthy meals, and where I didn’t spend most of my day hating myself and my body. My diet and exercise were always an unhealthy obsession that I didn’t think I could escape. I was consumed by it, which resulted in years of severe depression and anxiety. I got to the point where it was either giving up on life or getting help. I really hoped that there was a possibility I could live a life other than the one I was living which was filled with self hate and despair. It didn’t seem likely to me. I felt that I was damaged beyond repair and would remain that way eternally, until I gave up. It’s crazy to think about how far away that all seems. If anyone reading this is struggling with the type of feelings and way of living that I have described, I just want to say that there truly is hope. You don’t have to live in the dark. You just need to ask for help and be willing to accept it. A healthy and happy life is waiting for you if you want it.
Even though I have a long way to go in regards to my goals, I already feel much more energized throughout the day, a lightness about me, and a general happiness. The last part is the most important.
Cheers to a good week ahead of us all!