I’ve had a pretty busy/tiring week last week, which is why there is a lack of posts. I also hit a bit of a bump in the road this past weekend. Although I ate well during breakfast/lunch, I didn’t eat so well at dinner time and also failed to go to the gym. On top of that, I felt so guilty after eating unhealthy that I fell back into some old bad eating disorder related habits. Relapsing is one of my biggest concerns. I know everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect. Over the past 2 years since receiving treatment for my eating disorder, I’ve only “relapsed” a few times. Part of that may be because I wasn’t actively attempting to lose weight during that time. I know that 2 years isn’t very long in the whole scheme of things, especially considering that I had an eating disorder for 10 years of my life. I am fully aware that food, diet, exercise, and self image will be things that I probably struggle with in one way or another for the rest of my life. Thinking about it now though, I realize that messing up on a few meals over the weekend isn’t the worst thing on earth. It’s been 3 weeks since I’ve started eating right and exercising regularly. I’ve lost about 6lbs so far which is about 2lbs a week. I guess I shouldn’t beat myself up so much. The most important thing is to get back on track and move on, which I started doing yesterday. Yesterday I ate very well and had a great workout at the gym.
In the past, I feel like a lot of the things I did, especially relating to my image, I did for other people. Whether it was for their approval, to prove to them that I could do it, or to shove it in their face (however twisted or wrong any of that sounds). But what I’m doing now, I want to do for myself. I want to prove to myself that I have what it takes to live a fit and healthy lifestyle. That I can accomplish my goals in a nondestructive way and be happy doing it.
Hope everyone else is doing well. I’m going to make sure that this week is better than last!
I also have a great turkey taco salad recipe that I’ll share with everyone later!